When I only followed, I used to frequently feel that my lead friends didn't make time for me the way I made time for them on the dance floor. I felt like maybe I was misjudging what seemed like mutual affection for our dances, since I always had to seek them out. Now, these thoughts were born of my own uncertainty of my personal skills, but I have heard follows espouse similar thoughts. I have watched follows hunt down leads that they want to dance with because they won't get

I have found that even wearing a tuxedo doesn't stop men from assuming that I follow. (Perhaps they are not assuming. Perhaps they have seen me follow with someone else earlier in the evening. Perhaps they are asking everyone dressed in a tuxedo and are really not making any assumptions because pants do not imply leading.) I have found that if I wear a skirt, I am invisible to most followers in new scenes. If I am wearing a skirt and leading, I have to be more proactive for t

One of the best pieces of feedback I ever got was to dance my feelings honestly. If I was feeling nervous, I could use those feelings, rather than trying to ignore them. If I was happy and pumped, those feelings should be inside of my dancing as well. It was part of what most people would probably call a very strange private lesson, because we did very little dancing, and so much talking, but Sara Cherny fundamentally changed my dancing with those words. In a way, she gave me